Attachment-Seeking Reframing How We View Negative Behavior | Pride Martial Arts
ACCESS OUR SCHEDULE
& EXCLUSIVE WEB SPECIAL

Secure your spot and get started today with our EXCLUSIVE offer!

By opting into the web form above you are providing consent for Pride Martial Arts to send you periodic text messages. Standard rates may apply. You can reply HELP at anytime or learn more. You may opt-out anytime by replying STOP.
ACCESS OUR SCHEDULE
& EXCLUSIVE WEB SPECIAL

Secure your spot and get started today with our EXCLUSIVE offer!

By opting into the web form above you are providing consent for Pride Martial Arts to send you periodic text messages. Standard rates may apply. You can reply HELP at anytime or learn more. You may opt-out anytime by replying STOP.
Julianne Stalker reviewed Pride Martial Arts
5
via Facebook

My children have been going to Pride for over a year now. My son does both Judo and TaeKwonDo. My daughter does TaeKwonDo. The atmosphere at Pride is very much an inclusive environment. My children feel a sense of belonging and encouragement they don't seem to feel at some other places they have done club sports. I like that I know exactly what is expected of the kids at each belt level so I can make sure they're practicing the right things. They are always excited to get on the mat and work on new skills. The Masters really know each and every child they work with and make sure to highlight the child's strengths instead of only focusing on those areas that need improvement. Also, the dojang is very clean and comfortable.

Mike Ganzer reviewed Pride Martial Arts
5
via Facebook

I can't say enough good things about Pride Martial Arts. It's not only a fantastic place to learn some amazing skills, but it's also a very close knit group of people that are like family to one another. Masters Ron and Brandon are great teachers and will always take extra time whenever a student needs it . Very happy our kids have a place in the Pride family.

Rickey Bradshaw II reviewed Pride Martial Arts
5
via Facebook

First the facility is clean, and big and second the masters are kid friendly

Nadia CL reviewed Pride Martial Arts
5
via Facebook

My son has been attending Pride for two years and I couldn't be happier. I've watched my son go from being a shy child to being more confident. Things are not always easy for my son, sometimes the exercises are hard but he never gives up. Master Ron and Master Branden encourage students to try their best and to never give up. They celebrate the small accomplishments as well as the large one. Students at Pride are taught more than martial arts. They are taught respect, responsibility, perseverance, and courage. Every class you see them helping and cheering on one another. If you're looking for a martial arts home where your child will learn not only martial arts but skills that will help to become the boys and girls they are meant to be, the Pride Martial Arts is where you should be. Not only does Pride offer kids classes, they offer adult cardio-kickboxing classes are fun and quite the workout! Prices are reasonable and the atmosphere is like no other! I’m looking forward to returning to class soon! Come join our Pride.

Julia Albor reviewed Pride Martial Arts
5
via Facebook

I can't say enough great things about Master Ron and Master Brandon and everyone at Pride. My 5 yr old son started last year in Taekwondo and has enjoyed every minute of it since. When we started we where nervous because he has struggled with sensory issues since toddlerhood. He had a hard time controlling his body and focusing long enough to follow specific instructions. We started at Pride with the hope that martial arts would help him. Pride provides classes that are both age appropriate and fun! My son has not only learned how to better focus and follow directions he's also learned better teamwork, self control, and discipline. He no longer struggles as much with controlling his body and following direction we've watched him grow and transform and we couldn't be happier. Since watching our son grow and learn over this past year and seeing the pride and joy he has in himself everytime he learns a new skill, earns a new tip or promotes to a new belt our 3 year old daughter now also is part of the Pride family and she loves every second of it. Sometimes it feels like we live and breath Taekwondo but seeing what its done for my kids i wouldn't have it any other way. We are so glad to be apart of the pride family!

Pride Martial Arts New Lenox Martial Arts & Fitness for All Ages!
Call us today to get started 779-803-3170
Request Information

Blog

Our latest news & thoughts

Attachment-Seeking Reframing How We View Negative Behavior

If the pandemic has taught us anything, it has taught us to slow down and appreciate the moments we have with our loved ones. On the flip side, it has also caused some additional stressors for parents as they have had to play the role of teacher while also fulfilling their work demands. And as we knew before the pandemic, children will do just about anything to get attention. And since secondary attachments to teachers and coaches have become limited, children are looking to their parents to fill their attachment needs. As Rudolf Dreikus said, “Children need attention like a plant needs sun and water.” So, when did we conclude that wanting attention is a bad thing?

Parents are busy with a varying number of essential things, and “attention-seeking” behaviors seem to always come at the wrong time. The problem is that the need for attention is a need for attachment, which is a biological need for survival, according to the attachment theory. When children don’t get quality connection time with their parents, they are more likely to act out. Unfortunately, these behaviors trigger parents to punish their child, which gives them the attention they are seeking, whether ideal or not. And although parents don’t intentionally want to reinforce their child’s negative attention-seeking behaviors, their response does just that. 

A better approach to this is to reframe how we see these types of behaviors. When parents understand the acting out actions are because their children are seeking a connection, parents are then more likely to change their approach. By scheduling in time each day to connect with their child, parents can lessen the negative attention-seeking behaviors. Additionally, catching children being good and praising them with positive attention will help keep their “attention tanks” full and reinforce positive behaviors. Too often, parents take good behavior for granted and come to expect it but highlighting children’s efforts is essential for these to continue.

The Parent SKILLZ curriculum was created to help inspire parents to rethink their approach to parenting. Within the program, parents learn and practice each skill to take their parenting to the next level. Each of the eight skills requires only 10 minutes a day to implement but has a long-lasting impact on the parent-child bond. The instructors in the SKILLZ classes also implement these skills to support critical secondary attachments. The simple yet effective strategies create relationships that give children a sense of security and help the development of their emotional self-regulation skills.

When we focus on positive things, we see more of those things. In parenting, the goal is to make positive reinforcement as natural as possible. When we understand that “attention-seeking” behaviors are simply a child’s way of wanting a relationship, we become more mindful of our responses. As Dr. Jody Carrington said, “Every time you think of calling a kid, ‘attention-seeking’ this year, consider changing it to ‘connection-seeking’ and see how your perspective changes.”